An Exercise in Vulnerability and Needle Moving
In Which I Disclose Some (Really) Inner Thoughts
You're more than your job. So am I. The areas in which I hope to support, encourage, or instigate you to reach beyond careers — and so does this message.
This is a bit of a gut check, partly for me, but hopefully one that inspires you too. In your most reflective moments, when you entertain the deep thoughts that are unfinished or uncomfortable or unanswerable, what ideas float in and out of your consciousness? Here are mine:
+ I wonder what my kids will tell their adult friends about their upbringing someday in the distant future.
+ I mentally circle the runway of an upcoming task or project I'm anxious or unsure about, or replay a recent conversation I had and replace my words with better ones or silence, or simply wince when I realize what I missed.
+ I grapple with the concept of reconciling the person I was for the first 25 years of my life with the person I've become since. What's better, what's worse, what's not yet complete and am I piecing it together quickly enough? Did anyone even notice the change?
+ And I have all this stuff I want to say, not because I think I'm smart, but because I have a lot of questions about this life and I think you do, too. How can we answer any of them if we don't have the humility to ask each other, to examine our past, to believe in things we can't yet see, or to trip up once in a while as we get our grownup legs under us? We should look into this because I think it might be important.
A new job won't answer these questions, and neither will staying. With all the advice I'll ever give about work or careers, little of it will change the headlines for most of you, the deepest stuff that sticks with you.
But you can move the needle by deciding not to settle. We will never have all the answers or tie up the loose ends in our streams of conscious curiosity, but we can move.
We can set reminders and read books and stand next to people that help us boldly step forward. We can pay attention when our emotions are stirred — what caused that and why and what can I do about it?
We can turn off autopilot for the things we think and say and do and believe and check them against our freshest self, and decide to adjust according to what is now, what is us, what is right and good and lasting.
This has been a deviation from our regularly scheduled messages. Apologies if this is not helpful.
If not, maybe the next one will help you move the needle a little.
Either way, I hope you move.
As sincerely as ever,
Ben